


done with being lonely now

by the_crownless_queen



Series: Sapphic September 2019 [10]
Category: Alice Isn't Dead (Podcast)
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Sapphic September, Sapphic September 2019, look they just love each other but there's been some trauma, this is soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:53:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24513385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_crownless_queen/pseuds/the_crownless_queen
Summary: “I thought you were dead,” Keisha whispers against her chest in a wretched sob, and Alice’s breath catches in her chest. “I thought you were dead,” she sobs.
Relationships: Alice/Keisha | The Narrator (Alice Isn't Dead)
Series: Sapphic September 2019 [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1473389
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	done with being lonely now

**Author's Note:**

> Well this fandom has so few fics it should be criminal :O I love it so much and all the characters deserve the world.  
> Written for a (very late) Sapphic September, Day 8: “I thought you were dead.”  
> Hope you guys like it :)

The sound wakes Alice up first. It’s muffled, so soft somebody else would have missed it, but Alice has spent the past years listening for any hint of danger, her ears strained for the barest sound that might indicate she was about to get attacked.

That kind of hypervigilance doesn’t go away instantly, even though she’s back with Keisha now, and the war Alice left her for is over.

She doesn’t even wish it would; not when right now it allows her to wake up as soon as Keisha stiffens in her sleep, a choked off sob slipping past her lips.

For a moment, Alice just lies there, unsure of how to react.

She knows how she would have reacted before — she’d have drawn Keisha into her arms, held her tight and kissed her forehead until the trembling stopped — but this is not before.

Alice had left her wife behind for so long, and Keisha had changed in her absence. Of course she had — and Alice loves the woman her wife has turned herself into, even as she wishes Keisha could have stayed as she was, unmarred by all the ugly things lurking at the corners of the world.

Beside her, on the bed, Keisha shivers, another sob echoing in the darkness as she curls in on herself.

Alice’s chest tightens. Her eyes burn, and she takes in a deep breath before shifting to the side and reaching over, letting her hand hover just above Keisha’s shoulder.

They’ve learned the hard way not to touch each other in moments like this, not unless the other agrees first, but it’s a hard habit to break.

“Keisha,” she whispers. “Keisha, wake up. Sweetheart, please, it’s just a dream.”

Her voice fills the darkness of the room as she repeats those words, and slowly, the tense lines of Keisha’s body soften. It makes Alice’s chest ache to see it, to see Keisha so lonely when she’s so close, but she still doesn’t move to hold her wife as Keisha’s entire body shudders as she wakes.

It’s always a sight, Keisha waking up, even if it’s more bittersweet now.

(Still lovely, though — always lovely.)

Keisha heaves a trembling, wet breath, a quiet, muffled curse slipping past her lips as she casts panicked eyes around the room.

She sees Alice almost instantly, and Alice can only smile as Keisha’s body suddenly lags in relief.

Keisha’s in her arms in the next breath, moving almost too quickly for Alice to see it happen — that’s love, though, she guesses.

“Shh,” she whispers in Keisha’s hair, stroking it gently as her chest swells with a painful kind of warmth. Alice blinks back tears. “Shh,” she repeats. “I’m here. It was all a dream.”

Keisha’s fists tighten around the cotton of her shirt, and Alice holds her closer.

“I thought you were dead,” Keisha whispers against her chest in a wretched sob, and Alice’s breath catches in her chest. “I thought you were  _ dead,” _ she sobs.

“I…” Alice swallows. “I’m alive. I swear, sweetheart, I’m alive.”  _ I always was, _ she almost adds, but that’s her own guilt to bear, and Keisha doesn’t need that now.

She presses a kiss against Keisha’s hair. “I’m alive,” she repeats. “It was a nightmare.”

It almost hadn’t been, of course, so many times in so many ways, but they’d both survived. They’d both  _ lived. _

And…

“You found me, remember?” Alice asks her, her lips pulling up into a small smile despite herself.

Alice feels Keisha’s lips stretch in answer through the cotton, an involuntary response that still spreads warmth through her chest.

“You found me too,” Keisha retorts in the familiar rhythm of this not-quite argument they share.

“Of course,” Alice whispers back. “Of course I did.”

Keisha’s not crying anymore, but she’s still shaking a little, and Alice hums quietly as she runs a hand through Keisha’s hair.

It’s not any song in particular, just a mix-match of notes that sound good together. It’s never failed to make Keisha feel better before, and it doesn’t now either.

Alice sighs and presses another kiss to Keisha’s head. “Think you can fall back asleep?” she asks, stifling a yawn.

She doesn’t know what time it is, but the sun isn’t up yet, and sleep tugs at Alice’s consciousness again now that the adrenaline had run its course.

Keisha shifts in her arms, burying her head in the crook of Alice’s neck instead. “Maybe,” she whispers back sleepily, her warm breath tickling against Alice’s skin. “Just… Don’t let go, okay?”

Her throat tight, Alice nods. “Of course not. I’ve got you.”

Keisha nods against her skin. “Thanks,” she mumbles out, the word half-eaten by a yawn.

She falls back asleep first, her breath steadying slowly. Her trust in Alice is terrifying to witness — it makes Alice’s eyes burn.

“God,” she whispers to the quiet room. “God.”

Nobody answers, of course, but she hadn’t expected anything. 

She has all she needs already — Keisha, safe, and in her arms again.

She doesn’t remember falling asleep, but when she wakes, the sun is up and Keisha is smiling, more radiant even, and Alice smiles back, dispelling any trace of the night’s fears.

It will be, she knows, a good day.


End file.
